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Firstly, I would like to nominate the Bourbon as a great all-rounder. The taste is second to none, the biscuit shell mixes well with the chocolate flavoured core. This 'Rich Tea' biscuit you speak of has little to no flavour and is as plain as can be, how can it be the king biscuit with nothing to vouch for it?
I will admit that the dunk-ability does lack behind the Rich Tea but it is still a perfectly viable dunking option when you are hovering over the biscuit tin thinking which one to choose. When you dunk a Rich Tea biscuit you have no option but to pull it out a second later because if you don't your tea will be ruined and subsequently so will your life. Bourbons are the master dunkers. They may not be very absorbent but they damn well won't break on you if you leave them in for more than a couple of seconds.
Colour is something you can't beat bourbons on, unless you like Party Rings of course (which aren't exactly a biscuit). But also it begs the question that do Rich Teas even count as a colour? They're so plain they may as well just be dry bread.
The Bourbon is second to none when it comes to shape. When you dry and dunk a Rich Tea, you sometimes have to break it in half because it doesn't fit in the cup. Bourbons are easy to fit in any size of teacup, no problems and no fuss. Also you don't get crumbs everywhere like you do when you break a Rich Tea biscuit in half.
Crumbliness? Are you joking? Why would you want a biscuit that is crumbly? If you dunk a crumbly biscuit in a cup of tea you may as well say goodbye to your hot beverage because by the time you reach the bottom there will be a layer of those bastard saturated crumbs that you always forget about and end up spitting back in the cup.
So, my friends, this is why the Bourbon is the king biscuit and cannot be beaten by ANY, I repeat ANY other biscuits on the market.
This week's Player of the Week award goes to @Chugg for being active in all areas of the community. He is always kind and helpful towards everyone he is with and is always happy to lend a helping hand if someone needs it. If you see him around in the community or on one of the servers, congratulate him on his achievement!
For this he will get the special Player of the Week item, the badge on the forums and a special commemoration on the steam group (this is a day late, it's all @WarGirl's fault... I swear!)